Grief and Transformation (Śoka शोक)

Gill specialises in Grief Therapy, both within Integrative Psychotherapy and Yoga Therapy, also lecturing for both modalities as part of the Minded Institute faculty (London). 

When considering grief, she is referring to any type of loss, be it death of a loved one or something more ambiguous like the loss of a relationship or one’s health. Each experience of loss, in its own way, feels like a ‘mini death’—an unavoidable part of our shared human journey. In her experience with clients, she’s observed that grief surfaces in countless ways, while certain commonalities or universal elements may emerge, they are rarely fixed or linear. Beneath the surface lies an unspoken pain, a weight that each grieving person carries differently. Grief ebbs and flows, shifting between the foreground and background —sometimes it’s intensely present, and other times, it retreats, allowing space for moments of healing and resilience.

Why has grief become a specialism? Gill has experienced many forms of loss, like so many of us have, including the death of her brother, mother and other close relations and friends. Alongside this, experiencing ambiguous loss, witnessing her father continue to traverse the later stages of Alzheimer’s (dementia). Gill weaves together both personal and professional knowledge, having delved deep into the realm of grief therapy from both perspectives – her Psychotherapy Dissertation focused on Grief Therapy. She overlays psychotherapeutics with a deep study and understanding of yogic philosophies on death and dying (Laya Yoga). 

In agreement with Kübler-Ross, she believe that psychotherapy requires us to confront our own losses if we choose this field of work. Without this, we risk using our professional role to avoid our own pain. As grief therapists we must maintain a secure relationship with our own therapist, as well as fostering strong personal relationships, is essential. Secondary grief, when our own losses are stirred by a client’s experiences is inevitable, regardless of how much personal grief the therapist may have already explored. Before we can truly hold space for the grief of others, we must have faced our own mortality. We must deeply engage with existential questions.  Gill believes therapists can only create space for others’ grief when we have learned to do the same for our own. 

She believes Integrative Yoga Psychotherapy is uniquely positioned for grief therapy as it allows for a bespoke, integrative, and intuitive process led by the grieving person, that is complementary to the non-linear, often cyclical, nature of grief and the process of grieving. 

“We cannot take a person any further than we have travelled ourselves”

Jung

 

A mantra from the auspicious Rig Veda, sung for healing, protection, and overcoming fear of death:

Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra

ॐ त्र्य॑म्बकं यजामहे सु॒गन्धिं॑ पुष्टि॒वर्ध॑नम् । उ॒र्वा॒रु॒कमि॑व॒ बन्ध॑नान् मृ॒त्योर्मुक्षीय॒ मा ऽमृता॑त्

oṃ tryambakaṃ yajāmahe

sugandhiṃ puṣṭi-vardhanam

urvārukam iva bandhanān

mṛtyor mukṣīya mā ‘mṛtāt